I push too hard and I get knocked down. It’s really that simple. Forgiving myself these limits. Now that’s where I struggle.
I’d like to say that I’ve learned not to beat myself up over it. But, that’d be a lie.
The truth is that I still spend way too much time belittling myself for not getting things done. And, when I do finally finish a task, I judge myself in comparison to my pre fibromyalgia diagnosis standards. Which I can no longer live up to.
So, what does this achieve? Nothing positive, that’s for sure. Quite the opposite. I deflate my energy level to sub-zero with all the unspoken words of criticism bouncing around in my head.
Instead, I should be supportive and pat myself on the back for doing my best. I know I need to adjust the bar downward. It’s just that I’m having a hard time accepting it.
Sometimes the Sky is not the Only Limit
This brings me to my biggest fibromyalgia lifestyle hurdle; learning to lower the bar.
Having to lower my standards, is my biggest fibro struggle. Not the pain. Except when I’m having a fibro flare of course. Then pain is number one. But even then, often I spend much of my involuntary painful downtime stressing over what I’m not getting done.
My insurmountable hurdle since my Fibromyalgia diagnosis has been accepting that I can no longer strive for excellence in everything that I do. I have always been an overachiever and strove to continuously raise the bar higher. I’m very competitive. And pre-Fibromyalgia diagnosis, my toughest opponent at most things was always myself.
Whatever I achieved, I’d push myself to do it better the next time.
Time to Start Showing Myself a Little Love
7 years after having been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia I’m finally learning to accept that my standards have to change and that I need to start congratulating myself a little more on my many daily successes rather than condemning myself for things beyond my control.
Sometimes in life, the sky is not the only limit and that is ok.
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